Dealing with Feelings


Our feelings are made up from our moods and our emotions. All emotions are completely natural and occur every second of the day. They are interrelated, changeable and normal. Our feelings are only an issue when they begin to affect us in our daily lives or they have an impact on others. How we deal with our feelings, moods and emotions is completely up to us. We are the only ones who can change them – others can help, but ultimately it is our responsibility. Only we can describe how our body feels inside and only we can make ourselves happy.
Moods are feelings which are temporary, they can come on rapidly and change instantly or relatively quickly as they can be dependent on our circumstances or environment – personal or physical. Other people’s moods can affect us too, as can places. A cave may make us feel cold, anxious, or fearful whereas the beach can raise our moods to those of calm, peaceful, serene.
Moods are described as a ‘temporary state of mind’ (dictionary term) and are an expression of who we are, it is our own thoughts and perceptions which affect them or alter them, positively or negatively. How we feel our moods and emotions are also individual, however there are common reactions and behaviours from crying, shouting, slumping, moaning, withdrawing, smiling, laughing, hugging etc.
Within my Calmer Kids classes we look at how our feelings can be identified, through physical reactions and behaviours. We look at how the body responds to the emotion by giving us clues eg heart racing, tummy bubbling, feeling sick, sweating, etc and how we can manage the behaviour. We work closely together to pinpoint the balance between coping and exploding and explore ways in which the child can recognise these stages and find a point at which they are in control enough to manage them.
As I said above, all emotions and moods are perfectly natural but it is how we express them that is important. Hurting yourself, hurting others or hurting (breaking, ruining, destroying) property is NOT ok. In Calmer Kids sessions we look at reducing the point of no return by understanding our own patterns and physical symptoms, learning strategies to find calm so logical thought can be restored.
It is all very well asking children to calm down, they need to learn to recognise their emotions and deal with them with little or no intervention so that when they next appear, they can be dealt with quicker and more rationally. Or, by learning to maintain calm in their daily life through relaxation and meditation it will help keep their moods and emotions balanced.
Ways to maintain calm daily
1. Deep breathing slowly in through the nose and gently out of the mouth
2. Using crystals
3. Essential oils
4. Colours to stimulate positive or calming emotions
5. Soft music
6. Being outside in nature
7. Using your sense of touch – stroking, squeezing, twisting, rubbing
8. Drawing or colouring
9. Reading, singing, sewing, knitting, cross stitch
10. Something that you enjoy

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