There are always those people around us that seem to ooze confidence. They put their hand up for every answer, volunteer themselves for every ‘responsible’ job, sing in the choir, audition for the main character in the school’s play, have lots of friends, we hear about confident swimmers, the list goes on and on, but what is their secret? How do some people have bundles of confidence whilst others has low self-confidence? I’ve been thinking about this.
I am a person who regards herself as ‘fairly’ confident. I like me, I think I’m a good friend, loving daughter, sister and mother, I can speak up for myself but am I confident – not really, not in all situations. There are, I’ve decided, many levels to being confident. Some things come naturally, but others push us outside our comfort zone. I was never a starring role in the school play, I hated singing in the choir, wasn’t too keen on birthday parties when I was centre of attention and this followed me into my adulthood where I worried about falling as I walked up the aisle on my wedding day, knowing that everyone was watching me. Although I had the confidence to sit my exams, go to university and teach hundreds of children over the years, I still didn’t like talking in staff meetings. I could take assembly, no problem, I could run meetings, difficult ones with sensitive issues knowing I had all information available to me but being in a crowd and standing out still makes me nervous – hence I am not confident in ‘all’ areas.
With this in mind, we should seek comfort and praise ourselves for all the things we can do, big or small. Everything matters and usually, 9 times out of 10 we won’t fail like we believe we will. And what is the worst thing that can happen, apart from our red faces? Nothing, we did our best, we will recover from it and take comfort in the fact that the uncomfortable feelings don’t last forever.
We put too much pressure on ourselves, we try to be perfect, worry what everyone might think of us when actually how confident really are the confident ones? Is there such a thing as being confident? Anybody learning a new skill is not confident and I am beginning to realise that confidence comes from different sources. If we are a rounded person with love and support around us, then naturally our confidence levels are higher as we understand that no matter what happens, we have a network of love and support to see us through. Not everything works out as we plan but having a supportive network around us brings comfort. Therefore, we learn to bounce back and continue.
Alternatively, sometimes we need to push ourselves forward. If we don’t take the risk, how will we know what we are capable of? In these situations, we can draw upon our supportive network to give us encouragement.
Something to remember, not every confident person or child feels confident all of the time. Everyone has worries and fears, it is only natural but some can disguise it, give themselves positive self-talk or they may have a natural built-in ‘fatalistic’ view – what could possibly go wrong? It will be fine and if it doesn’t, it’s ok. Either way they are able to push themselves forward.
Everything is achievable, we can follow our dreams and with spring is around the corner (if only the snow would melt), waiting to burst its life force into every plant, every living thing, we are entering a time for new beginnings. So try to let go of those negative thoughts which are holding you back – believe in yourself. If you believe in yourself and follow your intuition, you can’t fail. It if doesn’t go as planned, well maybe it was not supposed to, learn from the experience and keep moving forwards.
As Buddha says, ‘Without rain nothing grows, learn to embrace the storms of your life.’
Crystals which will help boost confidence, self-esteem and bring love and joy
Labradorite – encourages you to believe in yourself
Citrine – brings joy and light
Amber – confidence, self-esteem, brings focus/mental clarity
Tiger’s Eye – protection, grounding and balancing
Rose Quartz – self love
Green Aventurine – releases negativity, clears energy blockages, increases creativity
Why not try placing these crystals (ones of your choice) in some natural spring water and leave in the moonlight overnight. In the morning, remove the crystals and decanter the charged crystal water (elixir) into a bottle with a spray and spritz yourself whenever you need a boost. Carry your healing spray around with you.
‘I am confident, I am brave, I can do anything I put my mind to because I am me and I am protected and safe.’