Pillow Talk



Bed times are usually the time that children start to mull over their day and process their thoughts, feelings, conversations and events. So obviously, bed time can be filled with worries, anxieties and the constant stream of thoughts can make it very hard for them to switch off and relax into a restful sleep. Children can also feel lonely or disconnected with their family (separation anxiety) at night time, particularly if they have their own room without a sibling to share it with.

With this in mind, I practise and encourage Pillow Talk. Each night, I try to sit with my children and check in with them. We talk about anything they want to, sometimes they don’t need or want to talk but ask for a massage instead (or a story for the younger one).
Pillow Talk allows the child to process their thoughts and emotions, it brings reassurance that they have somebody who will listen to them and it can become their safety net, a time when they know they are valued. Giving them this regular special, intimate time will decrease their anxieties and over a period time you will delight in a happier, more secure child.

Another tip which I’d like to share (and I know many parents that do this already) is Sleep Talking whereby you whisper positive words and phrases to your child as they sleep. In the same way positive affirmations work to change your thought patterns, Sleep Talking helps to encourage a loving bond with your child and it helps to promote emotional resilience. Whether it is affirming your love, reassuring your child that you will always be there for them, telling them how proud you are or any other positive statements, over time, their confidence will increase, their anger will reduce and it will no doubt have a positive effect on their emotional well-being. Talking or whispering to your child while they sleep allows your child to accept your words at a subconscious level, by-passing any of their negative doubts and self-critical views they have of themselves when they are awake. How many of you have children who do not believe their amazing qualities, believing instead that they are rubbish, horrible, etc? Sleep Talk and Pillow Talk can change this.

I would suggest that you are constant with both sleep and pillow talk, building it into their routine. Also, it helps if you say things to your child that you would normally tell them during the day to their face. Repeating affirmations is what makes them work, but have patience, it won’t work over night.

Below are other useful Bed Time tips to ensure restful sleep, relaxed children and happier parents.

• Make sure you are ready for the following day, pack bags and organise equipment
• Breathing techniques
• Have a warm, bubble bath with essential oils (or crystals)
• Read a story or read own book
• Colour mandalas
• Listen to music
• Do some gentle yoga or stretching
• Reduce screens up to an hour before bed
• Guided meditations (read or listen on a cd)
• Essential oils in a diffuser – lavender, Roman Chamomile, Bergamot, Jasmine, Lemon/lemongrass, Geranium, Cedarwood
• Tense and relax muscles
• Warm lights – coloured lights

Happy dreaming

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